What excuses do you use?
In June I shared a post with you “A fork in the road” (https://www.theleaptolead.com/blog/a-fork-in-the-road-which-path-will-you-choose) where I shared behind the scenes about my life a few years ago.
In this post, I shared a pivotal moment a few years ago where I decided to change my behaviour. My automatic response at home had been to raise my voice, then there was a moment when I saw the fear in Miss J’s face and I made the decision to change my behaviour. And so began a journey which continues to this day, a journey towards becoming someone my girls wanted to spend time with, and more importantly someone they respect.
It was a period in my life in which I felt quite ashamed, as a result I generally don’t talk about it. In fact some of my closest friends only learned when I shared that post. Over the past few weeks I have had follow up conversations with some of you about that post. So today, I thought I would go a little deeper.
If you’ve known me for a long time, you know I have a happy disposition. I am generally a positive person and in spite of some difficult times I have been able to find the silver linings.
So how did I allow my behaviour to get so bad?
Quite simple really, I was able to excuse it. And the excuses I used made sense too.
“I’m doing it all on my own”
Quite literally, hubby was working all hours, and living overseas I had no family support. I was solo parenting 24-7. It was true I was on my own, but it was still an excuse.
“I just need more sleep”
I am not a ‘good sleeper’. I always wake to the slightest sounds. I would replay things in my mind throughout the night. Hubby would come to bed late and wake me from the little sleep I was getting. Feeling tired was my reality, but it was still an excuse.
“Life is hard”
Finding what you need when you live abroad is a challenge. From groceries to underwear. From posting letters to getting banking working. Everything is harder when you live abroad. There were always daily challenges, but it was still an excuse.
“She just pushes my buttons”
Miss J would cry for no reason. Madam S would demand something. I felt like the girls were pushing my buttons every day, every morning getting ready for school and every evening when I’d be trying to get dinner ready. In reality, it was me, I had a short fuse because of how I was feeling internally, so it was just another excuse.
You can see how easy it is. You can easily make statements that quickly become excuses.
I was making excuses that seemed real. I was using excuses that I could easily justify. But the reality is, I was showing up poorly for myself and for my family.
I had a deeper disconnect that I wasn’t acknowledging. I was dissatisfied and I needed more in my life.
More what? Well that was another journey I was about to embark on. The result being this business, and working with clients I love. Finding myself again, discovering what I am meant to do has literally changed my life. It has changed who I am at home, I am showing up the way I always wanted to.
I am sharing this because some of you have asked, but also because it is such an easy trap to fall into. When we make excuses for ourselves, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to show up the way we deserve. We are denying ourselves the opportunity to serve others - our family, our friends, our colleagues, our community.
Are you ready to stop making excuses? Are you ready to change your life?
Start by identifying the excuses you’re making, and ask yourself why you do it. Dig deep, it’s not easy, I know! But dig deep and understand why you use excuses. It will help you to discover your unique path.
If I can help you navigate your path, reach out to me today an book a free no obligation call - https://calendly.com/theleaptolead/coaching
It is time to stop making excuses!