From challenge to growth
We all experience challenges in life. That’s what life is. There’s no escaping it. There will be good times and there will be challenges. The challenges are about us learning and growing.
Last week in my post “A Fork In The Road” I shared the crushing moment in my life when I decided to choose a different path, to shift myself from unhappy and dissatisfied to in control of my life and starting my business was the result of that.
This week I am sharing another personal experience and a more recent defining moment in my life, my dad’s death at the end of 2021. It was when Auckland was in a four month lock down, and it was impossible to get on a plane to be there with him.
It was heartbreaking not being able to be there with dad and not being able to support mum through those last few weeks. But I’m also a believer that things always happen the way it’s meant to. That there was a higher reason I couldn’t jump on a plane and be there. In sharing this, I am sharing what I learned and how I grew from the experience.
Not being able to fly meant that I was actually able to talk with dad. I’m not suggesting it was easy talking to someone who is dying over facetime. But we had a chance to talk. I was able to tell dad how much I loved him, how proud I was of him and how grateful I was for everything he had done for me. And true to form, dad had advice and guidance that he shared with me. This time talking was priceless and resulted in me making some big changes in my business.
Not being able to fly meant that I was able to support the girls in a way I hadn’t anticipated would be needed. If I had been travelling and focusing on dad, I wouldn’t have spent the time talking with them. They needed to understand what was happening, and this wasn’t a single conversation thing. This was lots of time together walking and talking, discussing what death means, what happens, and being christian, sharing my belief in heaven. They would look for dandelions to make wishes for dad and share their sadness that they couldn’t hug him. As much as possible, we remembered our times together and celebrated his life.
I know my story is not unique, there are many people who missed significant events because of the pandemic. But people do ask me how I coped, how did I keep going. If you’ve been with me for a while, you will know I still shared content every week, I still supported my clients, I still showed up. Why? Because I know what dad wanted for me. Don’t get me wrong, I took time off too, I needed time to cry and to walk and talk with hubby and with the girls. But dad told me very clearly what he saw for me, he gave me a little kick up the butt and told me I needed to make a change. It motivated me.
I miss dad dearly, we have always been close. But I still have my connection, sunrises are my connection to dad, and there’s been loads in the past few weeks between early hockey training and piano lessons before school! I take time to pause in the mornings, as I see the glow on the horizon and greet dad, sometimes I ask him to guide me, sometimes I ask for his strength, and sometimes I just smile “morning dad”.
I learned a lot during this period, and as a result I have grown. Dad’s advice was to stop banging my head against the brick wall and rethink what I was doing and how I was serving. He suggested I reconnect with Amel, my coach, and work together to see what I could do differently. And her first question set me on a different path.
We all need support, it’s a long road if you try and do it on your own. Finding the right person for you is about finding the right understanding, the right guidance, the right wisdom and the right advice. Instead of banging your head against a brick wall, reach out to a coach for support. Working with a coach will see you make a shift more easily and faster than if you try to do it alone. As I mentioned, Amel’s first question to me changed everything.
The fact is though, there is no end of the road. The journey always continues. And I am always reflecting, working to improve what I’m doing. The key is being willing to accept a shift, willing to change, willing to accept this is not it, there will always be more. I continue to lean into the wonderful people I have in my life, supporting me and guiding me. If I can be that person for you, if I can be a guide for you, I’d be honoured to have the opportunity. Reach out a book a free, no obligation call and let’s see if we’re a good fit - https://calendly.com/theleaptolead/coaching
I miss talking with dad, he was such a clever and wise man. He lived a full life, one of love, laughter and growth, and I intend to follow in his footsteps.