“I just feel so vulnerable”
I was working with a client last week and she seemed stuck. When I asked what was holding her back, “I just feel so vulnerable” she responded. The way she said it, it was like she was sharing a weakness, something she was ashamed of. I knew at that moment, we needed to pause what we were doing. “That’s ok” I said and she looked at me with surprise. “If you’re feeling vulnerable, it means you're human, you’re normal.” And together we explored this further.
Our discussion made me think, how many women are being tough on themselves, feeling ashamed because they feel vulnerable? How many women are unnecessarily thinking that something is wrong with them because they feel vulnerable?
So let’s get clear on what feeling vulnerable actually is. Feeling vulnerable is a chemical reaction in your brain, it is not something you’ve done wrong, it’s just human nature. I talk often about Amy G Dala, the amygdala is a part of the brain that triggers your fight or flight response. This response has remained unchanged in the brain for thousands of years, it’s how we stay safe. In today’s world, Amy can be triggered by anything, coming across a wild animal or when you think about doing something different in your life.
It is the way you are wired, and nothing to do with what you are doing right or wrong, Amy just is. When you feel vulnerable, it’s because you are being asked to make a decision, putting yourself out there, shifting something in your life.
Sometimes feeling vulnerable can affect your body's physical reactions as well, you might tense through your shoulders, clench your teeth or feel that ick in your stomach. Your breath may quicken or you may feel like you can’t speak.
Vulnerability can be scary, it also has the power to change your life!
Once you understand that feeling vulnerable is normal, you can stop fearing feeling vulnerable. When you understand vulnerability, you may also find that there are other emotional benefits from this response.
Greater confidence - when you put yourself in situations that can make you feel vulnerable, you can boost your confidence over time and you learn to handle challenges and your self belief increases with each situation.
Better relationships - being vulnerable can deepen your ability to empathise with others, share compassion and foster a stronger connection with the people in your life.
Builds authenticity - because vulnerability allows us to be ourselves, to be our authentic self, we stop trying to please others.
Sign of courage - vulnerability is a sign of courage. We become more resilient and brave when we embrace our true selves and how we are really feeling.
Understanding your vulnerability can be a life changer.
Harnessing the power of vulnerability allows you to say what you want, ask for what you need, express your emotions, and celebrate your achievements.
Every time you do, you give yourself permission to do it again. Every time you do, you expand that sense of confidence, security, belonging, joy, and growth.
With each practice of vulnerability, you’re becoming your true and whole self. Soon, you'll see vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness.
You have the power to change your life, one step at a time.
Are you ready to change your life, but not sure where to start? Book a free 30 minute clarity session with me this November. In this 30 minute clarity session you can clear the fog, gain clarity and know what action you need to take. There are only 10 clarity sessions available, and they are completely free. Book your 30 minute clarity session now and finally have focus and clarity in your life!
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