It’s time to stop trading yourselfMay 16, 2023
Have you ever felt that you’re not good enough? Mothers are often burdened by a sense of guilt. This feeling of guilt makes an already tough job even tougher. We feel guilty that we should be doing more for our family. We feel guilty when we take a moment for ourselves. We feel guilty when we see what other mums are doing and wonder if we shouldn’t be doing more. We feel guilty when we’re at work, wondering what we’re missing out on.
The reality is we feel guilty so often that we don’t even recognise when it’s happening. The problem with mum guilt is that we simply stop putting ourselves first. We start trading ourselves for our family.
Have you noticed you’re snapping at your kids at the slightest thing? You’re so busy doing doing doing, and rushing rushing rushing, that the smallest thing makes you snap at your kids. Even though you know they don’t deserve it.
Have you noticed that you feel judged by your family and friends? You feel like everyone has it together and you don’t, and the others are judging you for it. You feel like everyone else is doing an amazing job, and they think you’re not.
Have you noticed that you give in to every demand? I want that candy, I want more time on my iPad, I want more. You don’t have the energy or the strength to debate and argue with them.
If you’ve noticed any of these, they could be reactions that are rooted in an underlying feeling of guilt. Guilt is not rational. It doesn’t ‘make sense’. It shows up in ways that aren’t even related to how you’re feeling.
The end result is that we continue to trade what we want, what we need, for the whims and wants of our family. We overcompensate and trade our own happiness and fulfilment for that of our family.
So how do we move forward from mum guilt and stop trading ourselves? Firstly, you need to know and understand that you’re not alone and you most definitely do not have to accept these feelings. There are steps you can take to change how you feel and stop trading yourself.
Start reframing your thoughts on what it means to be a good mum. No one is perfect, even if it may look that way on the outside. So stop trying to live up to an ideal that doesn't exist. Instead spend some time clarifying what being a good mum means to you, accept what you can do and let go of what you can’t.
Focus on getting the balance right, you can focus on you AND your family. It doesn’t have to be an EITHER/OR option.
Don’t keep trading yourself for your family. Start focusing on you. Perhaps you’re not sure where to start?
Throughout the month of May I am offering 10 x free clarity sessions. If you’re feeling stuck, if you’re lacking clarity, you’re trading yourself for your family, I want to help you.
In this 30 minute clarity session you can clear the fog, gain clarity and know what action you need to take. There are only 3 clarity sessions left, so book your free 30 minute clarity session now and finally have focus and clarity in your life! https://www.theleaptolead.com/clarity
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