Frustrated by life? There’s light at the end of the tunnelSep 12, 2022
I’m not much of a gambling person, but I’m willing to bet you know just how lonely it feels to be busy in your life, but still empty at the end of the day.
There is a tendency among us to keep adding more ‘stuff’ to our lives, saying yes to everything that we’re asked to do, doing things because everyone else seems to be. When in reality what we’re actually doing is filling our lives with crap!
I know what it looks like and I know how it feels because I did it too. And I’m not saying it’s wrong. What I am suggesting is that there is a better, more meaningful way.
During our time living in Asia I couldn’t work in my career - legal and language barriers prevented me from pursuing leadership roles in Human Resources. Instead I volunteered my time organising the parent/toddler play groups; leading the networking groups or women's groups; serving as a volunteer with NGO’s and leading the parent organisation at the girls school. I showed up, I gave it 100%, I used the skills and experiences from my corporate career and I did an excellent job, at all of it. I was so good, I was asked to do more, to give more, to serve more.
Yet when I got home I was grumpy with my girls. I didn’t have any tolerance for them. I snapped at them often. I am ashamed to admit, I wasn’t a very nice mum. When I think back I just cringe with disappointment in myself.
Why was I this way? Because when we’re unhappy with ourselves, when we’re not leading fulfilling lives with true, meaningful activity, we feel empty, lost, guilty, frustrated, angry!
These feelings are real and they tend to overtake everything else that we are. Then we take it out on those we love. My girls wore the brunt of it, but so did hubby. I didn’t have the capacity to support him through his challenges at work, I was too tired at the end of the day. Mentally and emotionally exhausted.
I had filled my life with crap and that left me feeling angry and frustrated at the end of almost every day. I knew the roles I was filling were important, they were roles needed by others, the work I was doing was a lifeline for those around me. I just didn’t do it in a mindful and meaningful way, I didn’t do it in a way that fulfilled me.
Have you ever found yourself in this spiral? Once you start, it is very hard to stop the spinning and to get out of the loop.
I had a dawning moment of realisation when I had yelled at the girls one too many times. So I made a conscious decision when we were leaving Chongqing, I was going to change my relationship with the girls and hubby. How was I going to do this? To be honest, at the time I wasn’t sure. I just knew I needed to approach my life differently. I made the decision that I wouldn’t be a ‘yes’ person anymore. I wouldn’t commit to things that I wasn’t 100% sure was going to serve ME.
I also made the decision that I would invest time and energy to discover what it was that I really wanted, that I really needed, that would support me. It’s not an easy process by any means, but it is a process. As a result of my rediscovery period, which coincided with our move into our apartment in Taipei, I discovered Tandem Nomads et voila my business was born. By no means am I suggesting starting your own business is the outcome for you. But there is a clear process that will support you to stop filling your life with crap.
Firstly, recognise the spiral you are in. When you can see that your relationships are being impacted because of how you are feeling internally, not because of anything else fundamentally wrong, you then have the power to change it. Acknowledge the pain you are in. Acknowledge how this is manifesting. If you can, apologise to those around you. That was an amazing moment for me and the girls, saying sorry and explaining how I was going to be different.
Secondly, get clear on you. What will fulfil you? What is meaningful to you? What is it that you need? Is it a new hobby? Is it finding a better balance? Is it returning to part time work? Is it a career change? What is going to fulfil you?
Thirdly, create a plan. Once you are clear on what you want, work out how you can have it. Identify the steps you can take. One big goal needs at least 3 small steps. Then break those steps into today, then tomorrow. What is the next right thing that will take me towards filling my cup?
It is time to stop filling your life with crap. It is time to stop taking it out on those around you. You can do this! And you may find inspiration from our experts inside The Mums Leap To Lead Audio Summit - https://theleaptolead.com/summit
I invite you to join me and a panel of experts inside The Mums Leap To Lead Audio Summit. Inside you will find experts who understand how you feel and how you got to this point. It is time to reclaim your life and career. Tune into the summit now - https://theleaptolead.com/summit
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