Desire… Is it a dirty word?May 31, 2022
A desire is a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
It sounds simple, but when was the last time you thought about what you desire? It’s not a dirty word, but let’s be honest it’s not one we use very often either. As women and mothers, we never talk about what we desire. In fact, we actually take it one step further and we ignore our desires and we do so at our own peril. Ignoring your desires means not improving anything in your life.
You’re busy being a carer, cook, teacher, parent and partner, you have lost sight of who you are and what you desire. You give everything to your family, running errands, sorting their lives, being Uber Mum! When do you pause and tune into what you really want, your own desires?
But then is the really awful reality, when you do finally take a moment for yourself, perhaps even pursue your desires, you start to feel guilty.
The result is that you end up feeling lost. You lose your sense of direction. You lose your sense of self. You lose your confidence.
So how do you stop doubting yourself and start acknowledging your own desires?
Firstly you need to get really clear on what it is that you want, understand what your raison d'etre is. You can do this a number of ways, you could create a vision board, you could doodle on a piece of paper, you could journal about it. Whatever is your most creative approach, give yourself the time and space to explore what it is you truly want.
When you start to get a picture of your desires, share it with your partner and with your family. Talk about it openly and I think you may be surprised how supportive your family can be. And don’t forget to ask for their support. To pursue this desire, do you need your family to help more around the home giving you a little more time to yourself? Do you need them to be involved in another way?
When you are ready, spend some time shaping your desire in a way that enables you to fulfill it. Take it from a dream to a reality. How? Frame it as a goal for yourself. Write it down and work out what you need to do to achieve it. Your one big goal, your desire, may have 3 or 4 smaller goals that will help you to achieve it. Then be realistic and give yourself a timeframe, when you do want to have achieved the overall goal and how do the smaller goals fit into the timeframe.
Take action! Stop daydreaming and start making it happen for yourself. Take your time frames and mark them on your calendar. Work out your to do list and put it in your diary, when will you carve out this time to make it happen?
Once you start to get clarity, the normal mindset traps will start to creep in. You will tell yourself “I shouldn’t be doing this” or “it’s a waste of time” or “I’m better off focusing on my family”. Stop second guessing yourself. Stop allowing negative self-talk. It will happen, because it is a natural chemical reaction in the brain, your Amygdala is trying to protect you. But know that it will happen and be prepared to stop it when it starts.
No matter what happens, each day do the next right thing. Ask yourself what is the one thing I can accomplish today. Keep moving forward, keep focused and make it happen for yourself.
Desire is not a dirty word, it’s just forgotten vocab for so many mums!
If this sounds like something you would like to explore further privately in a one on one conversation, I invite you to book a call with me. Let’s connect and talk about your situation and how you can change it. This is a FREE call, there is no obligation, simply allow me the opportunity to support you.
Book your call here - https://calendly.com/theleaptolead/coaching